Thursday, August 16, 2012

Sheri in the Skies

Today I thought of something I needed to tell Sheri.  I picked up my phone before I remembered she was gone.  Never to talk to again.  I've lost people before, but never like this.  Kim Ney, my ex pro-active partner died several years after we were partners, my grandfather "Papa" died but we only saw him once or twice a year, Steve Cox ten years after we dated.  But never like this.  Sheri and I talked every day.  She was the sister I never had.  We had twin dirt bikes, we had twin Impalas, our boys played baseball together, we vacationed together, we talked on the phone every day.  I'm finding it harder and harder to get up and act like it's a "normal" day.  This is the new normal and I'm not sure I'll ever get used it.  The depression is intense and sad.  The aloneness is overwhelming.  I'm trying hard not to find comfort in a bottle of wine.  That wonderful warmth after the first glass.  Staying strong but not liking it one bit.

3 comments:

  1. Carolyn,
    Are you a person of faith? I know it hurts and sometimes it's hard to go on, acting as if nothing has changed. But it has. I find that the support of those in my church help to ease the hurt. Prayer is powerful and can heal even the biggest hurt.
    Praying for you tonight.
    Tabby

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  2. It seems like maybe you would benefit from grief counselling. Our church has a support group for people who have lost someone significant called Grief Share. If you're not a person of faith, I'm sure there are other groups available. You really don't need to add alcohol to your physical health problems. I don't mean this harshly, I lost my younger brother a couple years ago, been concerned to not see posting from you. Love, Janet

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  3. Sheri, get yourself to church! Now is not the time to fall off the wagon!

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