Sunday, May 27, 2012

Still on the Wagon

I had my 30 day of sobriety anniversary four days ago.  I can't say it's been easy but hasn't been overly difficult.  I was never one to HAVE to drink every day, or even every week.  My biggest problem is once I start, I dont' stop.  It's easy for me to down a whole bottle of wine in an evening.  No problem.  The problem was that since I was in high school I've experienced black outs.  Almost every time I drink.  The other problem is that if "things" get rough, my instinct is to grab a bottle of wine to help dull the feelings.  Whether it's depression, well, what can I say.  It's always depression.

So, there I was today, at QT.  QT is a very nice convenience chain here in Arizona.  Also known as Quik Trip.  I often stop to get an iced tea.  A 52 ounce iced tea.  With four packs of Stevia, which I carry around in my car.  So I fill my cup half way up and the machine runs out.  There are several other choices but the only other one without sugar is "mango" tea.  I thought, "how bad can it be?", especially since my cup's already half full.  So I filled it the rest of the way with unsweetened mango tea.  I get in my car and dump in my four packets of Stevia.  I take a drink, and almost spit it out.  Who knew that mango tea tasted so much like BOOZE???!!!!  OH MY LORD, I thought I was drinking my absolute favorite hard alcohol, Brandy! 

I don't really know how to take this.  Hate it because it reminds me of drinking, or love it because it reminds me of drinking.  I loved Brandy.  E&J Brandy.  On ice.  Or with a splash of water.  Or Mango iced tea from QT.  Hmmmmm.